I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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