I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
