When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
