Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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