I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
