I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
