Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Me too!
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Who died my cat blue again?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
