you win again, gameday.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
