i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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