windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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