he thought i was a dude.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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