you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
