Pappa wants mamma naked
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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