"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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