My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
