sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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