I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
