a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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