wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
