Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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