There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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