Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
