Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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