woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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