the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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