Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
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every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
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The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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