it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
