she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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