can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
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He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
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And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I have tasted many bathrooms
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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