I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
