Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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