honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
