You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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