I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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