How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
