Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
