i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
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