Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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