Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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