Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
