I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
