Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
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This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
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Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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