Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
whose parrot is this?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
