So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
