Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
