he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
