Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm like, not good at living.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
