i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
