I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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