Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
