I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
