Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
