How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
