Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
