Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize