If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
