You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
