Just mADE A PArabola og urine
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
