He is such a slut. More and more my type.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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