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• (408): View more from California

  i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both

  (650): View more from California

  i think otters can do that

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• (831): View more from California

  There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.

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• (331): View more from Illinois

  You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers

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• (716): View more from New York

  I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking

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• (727): View more from Florida

  What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?

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• (916): View more from California

  Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.

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