how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
