Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
