you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
