Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
