$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
